Food Freshness Fanatic T-Shirts

Best if used before it spoils.

"I date everything before I freeze it, so I know when to throw it away."

Counting ribs

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Freshest ice cream in town!

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

A corner market is taken over by suburban sprawl.

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Oh, no - not another farmer's market!"

"Please don't kill me."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

Planting veggies

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

Fresh picked baseballs.

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

Man on Stilts in a Market

Cutlery store: Big Sale! Everything slashed!

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

"That banquet was most delicious, and yet now, somehow, once again I feel the pang of hunger.'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

"It's only the Ericksons, so why don't you just use the recalled hamburger meat."

"Waiter!"

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

"You just need a few sprigs to spice up your meal Sir..."