Ingredient Fanatic T-Shirts

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Counting ribs

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Needs salt!'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

Harsh Mellows.

Ice Cream Dreams.

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Pistachio almond—that's the buyout."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"Next time make up your mind and just pick one!"

"At this establishment, you can't have your cake and eat it too!"

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Meat cooked, but carrots still hard.' Hand in pot

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

"I'm unable to process this image."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

Funky Chef 2

The Little Engine that really shouldn't, she already had one of Evelyn's cheesecake brownies, she couldn't possibly, O.K. maybe just one.

A menu with risks and benefits