Gourmet Fanatic T-Shirts

Gourmet Deli - Express Check-Out: $1000 or less.

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

Counting ribs

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"You're the lid to my pot."

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Needs salt!'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Ice Cream Dreams.

Benihana style of cooking.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Harsh Mellows.

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Kitchen Kapers

Important Food Groups

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

The Streets - Night

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

Burnt or Raw?

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."