Gourmet Fanatic T-Shirts

Gourmet Deli - Express Check-Out: $1000 or less.

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

Counting ribs

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"You're the lid to my pot."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

'Needs salt!'

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Kitchen Kapers

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Harsh Mellows.

Important Food Groups

Ice Cream Dreams.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Benihana style of cooking.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

The Streets - Night

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Burnt or Raw?

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."