Frenemy Banter Gifts

"Can I borrow this or are you going somewhere?"

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"Instead of a bedtime story, how about strapping a bottle rocket to your doll and setting it off in your little brother’s room?" "Brad was a terrible father."

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

Fuzz - Max expresses pain.

"Do you think we should get a pet?"

Noah's lesser known brother.

"Sure, you're an elephant, but you're not at all elephantine."

'Here comes Ted.'

"Let's go bowling and keep on bowling until the people who regulate bowling say it isn't bowling any more!"

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

"It's the wife - I can't even fight a war in bloody peace!"

'I went for a walk this morning...' - 'I ran 20 miles... uphill.' - '...and I had bran flakes for breakfast.' - 'Yeah, well I ate 19 sausages, 3 melons, and a horse.' - 'I'm going for a pee.' - 'I swear I could flood this place!!'

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

Weddings...

'This is going to be a long day.'

"Enjoying a sudden decrease in vision and hearing, are we, Horndog? Well, guess who's enjoying a headache!"

"Welcome to the comedy club, sir! Heckling or non-heckling?"

MD trash talk... "Your mama is so dumb, she doesn't know endopeptidase from endopericarditis."

'My God, Brad... You really don't like them, right?'

Congratulations- Wholehearted/Tinged with Envy

"So how long have you worked here, Baldo?"

"Hey, nice body! Not you, the car! ... That's what she said! ... Oh, yeah? Ask me about your wife!"

"I'm really glad she didn't come. She's got a new mink coat."

'Try not to dip your shoulder and keep your head in there. Remember, all the great ones go through slumps.'