Frenemy Gifts

"I agree that racism is terrible, and I sympathize with your struggles, but Jesus Christ Larry, do we really have to talk about it?"

Congratulations- Wholehearted/Tinged with Envy

"I'm really glad she didn't come. She's got a new mink coat."

"Look! Here comes Ms. Celibate by choice."

'My God, Brad... You really don't like them, right?'

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

'Hello Satchel's imaginary friend.'

'You're an inspector now?'

"They're not as scary on casual Friday."

'What's my fortune then?!

"A message from your terrible foe in the holy lands - she's pregnant!"

'You have no idea how difficult life can be when one is totally irresistible to men, Jane.'

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

"Can I borrow this or are you going somewhere?"

Formula One Finish Line.

'It turns out that in direct opposition to the purpose of the threat level system, Satchel has been providing material support...'

'This is going to be a long day.'

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

'Just so i'll know you can't resuscitate a grape-nut, right?'

"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."

'He thinks some bugs are kind of creepy looking.

"I lost all respect for firefighters when I saw them rescuing the neighbour's cat from up a tree..."

'You say odd things.'

Hostile airport pickup signs

'I can't believe you just said that Satchel's writing is better than mine.'

"It's not enough that I fly first class...my friends must also fly coach."

'You'll be happy to know I gave your dog self-help book to someone who'll know how to put it to good use. . . the garbage guy!'

Man's Best Friend

Bug-Cam.

That afternoon, Colin's fear of spiders was to come to a head!

Seagulls at a drive through - just ordering fries.

"Wow, when did it start letting you 'enemy' people?"