French Food Gifts

'Brie ok, Sir?'

'The escargots are underdone.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

At the French Cafe.

'This French food is pretty good, except for that beurre bleeech sauce.'

"Well, you howler monkeys sure know how to attract a waiter's attention..."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Garlic Free Zone.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Gigot de sept heures."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

Cooking with Pierre

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

Paul Bocuse caricature

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

'My French is not so good.'

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"My bouche was not amused."

Culinary Culture.

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"Pat? de fois gras avec des petits pois et pommes de terre au gratin? Very well, sir ? is generic okay?"

French man holding a dish.

"And when I get to this fancy French restaurant, will they be glad to see me?"