French Cooking Gifts

Robinson le Creusot

"Gigot de sept heures."

Cooking souffle.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

Garlic Free Zone.

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Cooking with Pierre

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

''Romantic'? No -- but it makes me feel like having a CROISSANT!'

'Here's a good one, France on 2000 calories a day.'

"I love when you make asparagus soup!"

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

Paul Bocuse caricature

"My bouche was not amused."

Culinary Culture.

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'The escargots are underdone.'

'Hey, Frenchie - you call this paupiettes de beouf aux legumes?'

If you give a mouse a French cookie: "And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at..."

'My French is not so good.'

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

"Pat? de fois gras avec des petits pois et pommes de terre au gratin? Very well, sir ? is generic okay?"

French man holding a dish.

It's crème brûlée, Julia. It doesn't have a subtext.

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'