Freezer Raider Pillows

"Did someone eat my edamame ice pack?!"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"This stool shall pass."

To do before Saturday...

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

"I'm going in."

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

Rodins rotten juggler

'This refrigerator isn't big enough for the both of us.'

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

Pizza and Related Searches.

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

"What happened to my piece of cake?"

"And unlimited freezer space, naturally..."

"Who put back an empty jar of formaldehyde?"

'Pillage and plunder, yes...but don't harm the environment.'

'Danny has a magnetic personality...that's why he's always hanging on the refrigerator door.'

We're never going to lose weight if we don't get rid of the fridge light.

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"I'm afraid that walking to the refrigerator 5 or 6 times a day does not count as exercise."

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

Diet Enforcer

'Working from home I've found the most hazardous machine to be the refrigerator.'

"You came up in therapy this morning."

"What do you mean you're staying in with a good book?"

"It's an alarm sensor. It barks like a dog when someone's at the door."