Freezer Raider T-Shirts

"Did someone eat my edamame ice pack?!"

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

To do before Saturday...

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'Do we have any empty calories in this house!!'

"I'm going in."

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

Rodins rotten juggler

'This refrigerator isn't big enough for the both of us.'

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

"What happened to my piece of cake?"

Pizza and Related Searches.

"Who put back an empty jar of formaldehyde?"

'Pillage and plunder, yes...but don't harm the environment.'

'Danny has a magnetic personality...that's why he's always hanging on the refrigerator door.'

'Working from home I've found the most hazardous machine to be the refrigerator.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

Diet Enforcer

"I'm afraid that walking to the refrigerator 5 or 6 times a day does not count as exercise."

"You came up in therapy this morning."

"What do you mean you're staying in with a good book?"

"It's an alarm sensor. It barks like a dog when someone's at the door."

'I hope you like it. I call it refrigerator cleanout casserole.'