Freezer Connoisseur T-Shirts

"All the money we've saved on bulk food we've spent on freezers!"

Counting ribs

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Too much cilantro

A Day In The Kitchen

Electric Blanket.

Aromatherapy for Men

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"Do you have an Isa?"

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

Snow is falling...

Entertainment systems

Larry was always invited on camping trips because of his ice chest

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

'Climbing up a chair to take a bag of potato crisps out of the cupboard five times a day does nor count as exercise, sir!'

'I think he's had it with dry dog food.'

"When a man is tired of pasta, sir, he is tired of life. Dr. Johnson."

"How's my wife doing in the discus tryouts? I can tell you that, at home, she's hell on wheels with saucers and plates."

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

'When does the fridge go on a diet?'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'

Cake Writer's Block