Freedom Ponderer Gifts

'I didn't realise how the invisible fence made you feel until I got my ankle bracelet.'

The Price of Freedom

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Have you been playing dice?"

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Chiller Theatre

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Sauce for the Goose

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"Is this who I am?"

"I cross the road to forget."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

Afraid of change - leave it here.

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'