Freebie Hunter Gifts

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

'What happened to the free peanuts?'

"I feel that if I wait here long enough Oprah will give me something."

"There's no such thing as a free lunch."

'These cornflakes have given me a sharp pain in my tum."

Newspaper offers

'And that's not all, everyone in the audience today is going home with a brand new Buick!!! Oh wait...That's next Tuesday.'

"These aren't free samples. This is my lunch, dammit!"

Scuba Divers Eat Free!

Tempo - Announcing our new free call offer! 'There's no such thing as a free launch.'

Basics: bar and free peanuts.

'And have one for yourself, tomorrow...'

"I believe you provide free brochures and advice."

"Hi, I just got divorced, would you like a free tote and mug?"

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Complementary Beverages

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

"Check out my free white paper!"

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

'I'm getting the shrimp - it sounds really yummy!'

'$800,000 per year? Is that with or without an incentive bonus?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Will my bonus look big in this?"

"You've been vital to our great year. Your bonus is whatever you can carry out by midnight."

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."