Freebie Collector Gifts

"I'm afraid you can't keep coming to try out the dishwashers, madam."

'Just a minute! Let me look at that gift catalog again.'

Larry could never say no to a free t-shirt.

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Unusual Offers

Complementary Beverages

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

"Don't put that on. You're wearing this shirt today."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Check out my free white paper!"

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

'What happened to the free peanuts?'

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Time-Off Coupons

'Prove it.'

' . . . and a surplus screw for the heck of it!'

'It's okay -- I had a coupon.'

Toy - with free cereal.

"I like to reward productive employees. Here's a 50% off voucher for the vending machine."

"I actually have a groupon for a fourth wish."

"I'm sorry, but this has expired."

"I came in because of your two-for-the-price-of-one coupons."

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'