Freebie Collector Pillows

"I'm afraid you can't keep coming to try out the dishwashers, madam."

'Just a minute! Let me look at that gift catalog again.'

Larry could never say no to a free t-shirt.

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Unusual Offers

Complementary Beverages

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

"Check out my free white paper!"

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Don't put that on. You're wearing this shirt today."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'And that's not all, everyone in the audience today is going home with a brand new Buick!!! Oh wait...That's next Tuesday.'

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

"Whoever said there ain't no such thing as a free lunch obviously has never circled around a highway."

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

'What happened to the free peanuts?'

'Prove it.'

Time-Off Coupons

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

'It's okay -- I had a coupon.'

' . . . and a surplus screw for the heck of it!'

"I like to reward productive employees. Here's a 50% off voucher for the vending machine."

"I'm sorry, but this has expired."

"I actually have a groupon for a fourth wish."

'Sir, wait! You can't go yet! The register hasn't finished spitting out all your valuable coupons.'