Fraud Gifts

'Fred is terrified of identity theft.'

"He's doing it again, your honor!"

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

"Doesn't look good. The boss just changed his Facebook status to 'Fleeing the country with hookers and compnay 401k plan.'"

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

Fake Counterfeit Money

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."

Bernard Madoff's House Arrest.

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

'How can we be so sure it's a fake, gentlemen - she isn't smiling!'

'What's happened to all this money?'

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

Fraud Squad

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

Identity theft' is a big risk these days... criminals assuming your persona to commit fraud...' '...so I got a quote for 'identity theft insurance' last week... it was a lot cheaper than I'd anticipated.' 'Apparently my personality is only a 'Group 3'.'

Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.

Leave one of your names with my secretary.

Black Magic

'Are you aware of the penalty for insurance fraud?'

"I'll need to see some ID before you can settle this account..."