Fraud Prints

'Fred is terrified of identity theft.'

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

'That's part of the reason for our problem. We lost the key to the door.'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

Fake Counterfeit Money

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

"Forget the bloody glove for a moment; ignore all the arguments about the DNA evidence and try to remember that this case, after all, is about securities violations."

"Of course he's smiling, he spent all the company profits before he died."

Bernard Madoff's House Arrest.

'How can we be so sure it's a fake, gentlemen - she isn't smiling!'

'What's happened to all this money?'

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

"To verify you are the person who answered the phone, May I have your social security number and a major credit card."

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

'To be honest I generally only deal with clients by phone or email.'

Berlitz guide to Scamese

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

Fraud Squad

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

Identity theft' is a big risk these days... criminals assuming your persona to commit fraud...' '...so I got a quote for 'identity theft insurance' last week... it was a lot cheaper than I'd anticipated.' 'Apparently my personality is only a 'Group 3'.'

Three Little Pigs Insurance Scam.

Leave one of your names with my secretary.

'Are you aware of the penalty for insurance fraud?'

Frivolous Fraud Squad

"I'll need to see some ID before you can settle this account..."

'So you say the cash box was stolen.'