Fracking Awareness Gifts

Water Seller

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Deforestation.

"We'll always have Paris..."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Man using to much bug spray

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'It's an extinction notice.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

"Smokey The Tree"

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

Sport Utility Boot.

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

Evolution.

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

Noise Pollution

"Oceans are rising, landmass is shrinking - so far so good."

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

'You must be really into recycling. Mommy says you're always talking trash.'

Price may vary with weather.

Spoiler alert: most of my presentation is actually a series of trigger warnings.

Save Mars

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

COP29

'I guess they're not here for contact.'

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'

"In a move sure to revolutionize the industry, Lincoln Middle School is using Halloween candy energy levels to offset costs in November, December and January."

'Nothing like a Romantic stroll in Saturn's acid rain.'

"They don't look like an endangered species."