Fracking Gifts

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Bitchbark Canoe

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'Not that net!'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

baby sweetcorn...

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"