Fracking Gifts

"You mean they gave us alternative fracks?"

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

Bitchbark Canoe

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Not that net!'

Apples for sale

Check out the nice crawdads I have in the bait bucket, George.

baby sweetcorn...

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"