Fossil Fuel Fan Gifts

'Have you considered switching to another energy supplier?'

"Woo-hoo!"

"If only fossil fuels had developed sufficiently, we could have taken the car"

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

'It's an extinction notice.'

Solar Frankenstein

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

After his first day, Lester, the new accountant for Acme Solar, Wind & Biomass Energy, Corp., realized he had become a green bean counter.

Underwater on the Car

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

'Since hooking our generators up to your exercise machines, we've cut our fuel consumption by 25.'

Fetching some fuel.

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

'Steady...here he comes...wait for it, wait for it...'

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

"Given a choice, would you prefer to be buried, cremated or converted to fossil fuel?"

'How many miles to the gallon?'

There's no real oil emergency...

"Don't even think about it."

'I'm a hunter with gatherer tendencies...'

710

'But on the plus side, I felt better about owning a SUV as soon as I bought some oil stocks.'

'...the downside, of course, is that I can't get the damn thing in the garage.'

Fish to friend regarding third fish leaving Precambrian ocean: 'There's been no living with him since he started to evolve.'

A woman waters her plants which include a spider plant, a tiny hydroelectric plant, a tiny coal burning plant, a tiny nuclear plant, and a philodendron.

How the bones got into the Le Brea Tar Pits

I admit, this discovery does seem to support the asteroid theory.

'Fuel efficiency? I get about three times around the block on a peanut butter sandwich.'

Richard Owen

Hourglass earth - time running out

Dig Site. Frank, I've found some new fossils! They were undercovered next to relics, which indicate there was a society of advanced dinosaurs! Cups and saucers were found with the tea-rex fossils. The rap-tor was next to oversized jewelry. And the bronzesaurus bones were found with a tanning bed! That's incredible, Ernie! Hah! April fools! I guess it's fitting that Ernie get to April Fools day a little ahead of everybody else!