Fossil Fans Gifts

'I know that right now I don't have too much to offer to your daughter, but I promise you that in a few million years my fossilized remains will cost more than one hundred dollars a barrel.'

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

'It's an extinction notice.'

"I don't think those are authentic, either, bud."

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

"If we consume less, floss regularly, and use sun screen - we should all be fine!"

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

' Get ready to make a wish.'

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

The Steakosaurus

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"You've passed with extinction!"

Space Pioneer

Fossil bands

"Don't make me turn this woolly mammoth around!"

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"Google Earth must have a defective camera. There's a big red spot above our location."

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

House plants

'Yipee! A cockroach!'

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

Fossil hunting

Sea Horse outside saloon

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'