Fossil Footballers Gifts

Early Football

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

'It's an extinction notice.'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

"If we consume less, floss regularly, and use sun screen - we should all be fine!"

' Get ready to make a wish.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'I told you that rock wall climbing would be useful. I'll get our ball back with no trouble at all.'

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

The Steakosaurus

"You've passed with extinction!"

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

Fossil hunting

"Don't make me turn this woolly mammoth around!"

Fossil bands

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

'Ogg's quite the visionary.'