Fossil Footballers Pillows

Early Football

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

'It's an extinction notice.'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

As the world emerges from the last ice age Ug & Og discuss a historic agreement to reduce CO2 emissions from woolly mammoth barbecues.

They don't feed the animals in here very well, do they!

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

"If we consume less, floss regularly, and use sun screen - we should all be fine!"

' Get ready to make a wish.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'I told you that rock wall climbing would be useful. I'll get our ball back with no trouble at all.'

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

Then, after 3.7 million years...something funny happened.

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

The Steakosaurus

"You've passed with extinction!"

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"That's no death grimace, Perkins. I think what we're seeing is a 2.8 million-year-old tight smile of spousal event obligation!"

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

"Don't make me turn this woolly mammoth around!"

Fossil hunting

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'Put that down your fool! It's a bone of contention.'

'Ogg's quite the visionary.'

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'