Fortuneteller Fans Gifts

'He said my future stinks.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

Wow. You're amazing!

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

Bad news airbag

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

"I like the Businessman's Special. The fortune cookies all have stock futures in them."

'The cards say 'buy' but the tea leaves say 'sell'.'

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

"I see you on a beach..."

'Hey, Ruby, want to give this guy an estimate?'

'The red phone is my grapevine to Andrea Mitchenll, who hears it firsthand from Alan Greenspan, who hears it first from Ben Bernanke.'

'Don't add potassium nitrate to anything this year.'

'...and I see dozens, no, hundreds of dirty socks lying on the floor! And I see windowless cars filled with injured squirrels and blind cats, who take you to an oasis of bacon bits...'

'See many bathroom breaks in near future after eating Moo Goo Gai Pan.'

'Sorry, but sorting through garbage bins for food is pretty much what the future holds for you...'

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

Because I don't need my crystal ball to know what will happen if you don't clean your room.

'You will make big bucks, then you'll give it all away to reduce your taxes.'

"I see that you're very concerned about the rise of AI technology."

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

'I can see... two all beef paddies, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'What makes you think they're modern fakes?'

Wall Street .

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."