Fortuneteller Fans Gifts

'He said my future stinks.'

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

"Elon Musk is buying rope and walnuts."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

Wow. You're amazing!

Bad news airbag

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."

"Forget about tall and handsome. What about portfolio 10 year highs and lows?"

'No, I don't want to change my long distance phone company, and,,, Yes, I should have known it was you calling'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

"I like the Businessman's Special. The fortune cookies all have stock futures in them."

"I see you on a beach..."

Your Winning Lottery Numbers Told: 'If they are really what you say - how come you can only afford a tent?'

'The cards say 'buy' but the tea leaves say 'sell'.'

'Hey, Ruby, want to give this guy an estimate?'

"I see that you're very concerned about the rise of AI technology."

'Sorry, but sorting through garbage bins for food is pretty much what the future holds for you...'

'The red phone is my grapevine to Andrea Mitchenll, who hears it firsthand from Alan Greenspan, who hears it first from Ben Bernanke.'

'...and I see dozens, no, hundreds of dirty socks lying on the floor! And I see windowless cars filled with injured squirrels and blind cats, who take you to an oasis of bacon bits...'

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

'Don't add potassium nitrate to anything this year.'

'See many bathroom breaks in near future after eating Moo Goo Gai Pan.'

'You will make big bucks, then you'll give it all away to reduce your taxes.'

"Hurry it up, Solomon Brothers are waiting for my decision"

'What makes you think they're modern fakes?'

'I can see... two all beef paddies, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

Wall Street .

"I see fireworks, I see people celebrating..."

"It's not the grant we expected, but it's better than a kick in the pants."