Fortune Finder Gifts

'What's gold doing now'

business illustration

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

'Talk about luck. He had his head in the sand...and found oil.'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'I'm coming out of the closet. I'm into material wealth, and I'm not afraid to admit it.'

'The rich get richer!'

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

"I finally acquired enough wealth to buy nearly anything I want but I can't remember what it was I wanted."

When Tia Carmen says... "Every misfortune you have carries in it the seed of tomorrow's good luck!" it means... "I didn't win the lottery last week, but this week that jackpot's mine!"

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Why bother?"

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Asking out a palm reader.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Quantum Psychic

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

Channelling on the Cheap

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"