Fortune Finder Gifts

'What's gold doing now'

business illustration

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

'Talk about luck. He had his head in the sand...and found oil.'

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

'I'm coming out of the closet. I'm into material wealth, and I'm not afraid to admit it.'

'The rich get richer!'

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

"I finally acquired enough wealth to buy nearly anything I want but I can't remember what it was I wanted."

When Tia Carmen says... "Every misfortune you have carries in it the seed of tomorrow's good luck!" it means... "I didn't win the lottery last week, but this week that jackpot's mine!"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Any minute now I'll be getting a headache.'

"Why bother?"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"The sweater you knit him will be thrown out in February."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Asking out a palm reader.

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Quantum Psychic

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Channelling on the Cheap

A cow goes to the Fortune Teller - 'I can see two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun...!'

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

Card Reader in PC Supplies Store.

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'