Fortune Cookie Reader Gifts

"Everyone reading their fortunes aloud will not relieve the crushingly dull conversation."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

Mine says, 'Blaming China won't work.'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

'It says I forgot my wallet.'

Chinese Novel Cookie

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

'...and I see dozens, no, hundreds of dirty socks lying on the floor! And I see windowless cars filled with injured squirrels and blind cats, who take you to an oasis of bacon bits...'

'I'm a fortune teller Phillip. Music is going to mark a key moment in your life.'

'See many bathroom breaks in near future after eating Moo Goo Gai Pan.'

The day the dinosaurs died...'There's no fortunes in any of these!'

Misfortune cookies

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

"Let me get this straight - You're divorcing him because of a fortune cookie message?"

Change in imminent

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

Nostradamus's secret is almost exposed.

Chinese Cuisine. I think that hedge fund manager misplaced his after-meal cookie. That would be the second fortune he lost.

'Yahoo! It says 'Your wife is going to collect a large sum of insurance money!''

'It's worth a try. I heard dad say there are thousands of cookies in this computer!'

"By opening this cookie you are agreeing to whatever terms..."