Fortune Cookie Philosopher Gifts

Mine says, 'Blaming China won't work.'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

A fortune is uncomfortable outside of its cookie

'Oh dear, oh dearie dearie me...'

'I have experience with that type of writing...I'm an economist!'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

Waiter, I specifically requested a fortune cookie containing a stock tip.

'It says I forgot my wallet.'

'Okay, mine says, 'Eat healthier foods. The current health care system really sucks.''

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

Fiscal projections

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

Chinese Novel Cookie

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

Misfortune cookies

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

"Sometimes it's good to just pause and reflect on how obscenely rich we are."

'Bad news I'm afraid...You've got the worst inheritence for a generation.'

The day the dinosaurs died...'There's no fortunes in any of these!'

"Let me get this straight - You're divorcing him because of a fortune cookie message?"

'See many bathroom breaks in near future after eating Moo Goo Gai Pan.'

'I'm a fortune teller Phillip. Music is going to mark a key moment in your life.'

Change in imminent

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

"By opening this cookie you are agreeing to whatever terms..."

'Yahoo! It says 'Your wife is going to collect a large sum of insurance money!''

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

Nostradamus's secret is almost exposed.

Chinese Cuisine. I think that hedge fund manager misplaced his after-meal cookie. That would be the second fortune he lost.