Fortune Cookie Reader Prints

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

Fortune cookies based on various business magazines.

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"I've found that when money starts talking, you can't shut 'er up!"

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

Mine says, 'Blaming China won't work.'

'Hey, you could get arrested for doing stuff like... Oh, you ARE getting arrested.'

'My fortune says you're a liar, so I won't even ask what yours says.'

Chinese Novel Cookie

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

'It says I forgot my wallet.'

'This fortune cookie says, 'You will have good luck investing in emerging markets, fortune cookie & Chopstick Trading Company of Singapore.''

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

Misfortune cookies

'I'm a fortune teller Phillip. Music is going to mark a key moment in your life.'

'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'

"Let me get this straight - You're divorcing him because of a fortune cookie message?"

'...and I see dozens, no, hundreds of dirty socks lying on the floor! And I see windowless cars filled with injured squirrels and blind cats, who take you to an oasis of bacon bits...'

'See many bathroom breaks in near future after eating Moo Goo Gai Pan.'

Change in imminent

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

"By opening this cookie you are agreeing to whatever terms..."

'It's worth a try. I heard dad say there are thousands of cookies in this computer!'

"It says. . . 'That wasn't chicken.'"

'Okay, mine says, 'Eat healthier foods. The current health care system really sucks.''

'Yahoo! It says 'Your wife is going to collect a large sum of insurance money!''