Fortress Aficionados Gifts

'I can't understand why no one came to our housewarming.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

"Beware of Don"

Statue is moved to hold up the leaning tower of Pisa.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Fairytale prince and princess

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'Well, why didn't you say you wanted the office to be functional?'

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"It's the battering classes"

"And to think he started in accounting."

Beware of the Dragon

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."