Formula 1 Grand Prix Gifts

'He's serious about this no overtaking business.'

"I need to tinkle."

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

Bahrain F1

F1 drivers saluting a checkered flag

Formula One

Micheal Schumacher.

"Change down you fool! You can't hit a hairpin at that speed!"

The word gets out trains are using F1 technology to improve reliability.

Don't shake.

'Daddy didn't wave!'

Formula One Finish Line.

'When you asked me to follow your husband at work you didn't tell me he was a Formula One driver.'

Alain Prost

Pit crew fix a tire swing

'It's rumoured that he's becoming an alcoholic.'

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

Advertising space on a racing car.

'No, the sound isn't turned off, it's a Formula One race.'

'They must practice their pit stops for hours to get it as badly wrong as that.'

If Bernie Ecclestone does not get his pound of flesh from Montreal, the Canadian Grand Prix will not roll.

Racing road signs

'Hello Bob, how was the Grand Prix at Silverstone..?'

Formula One snail

'It's not fair...Schumacher gets to practice a lap of honour before the race has even begun.'

Engine blown - Swear box.

Dad, for successful Formula One drivers, it's necessary to have enough space for commercial batches!