Formula 1 Grand Prix Gifts

'He's serious about this no overtaking business.'

"I need to tinkle."

'We'll have you practising in a milk float in no time!'

Valentino Rossi (the Doctor)

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

'Looks like Ed Miliband's attempt to stop the race failed.'

'Apparently she looks stunning naked'

Micheal Schumacher.

Bahrain F1

Formula One

F1 drivers saluting a checkered flag

"Change down you fool! You can't hit a hairpin at that speed!"

Formula One Finish Line.

Michael Schumacher

'When you asked me to follow your husband at work you didn't tell me he was a Formula One driver.'

'Daddy didn't wave!'

Don't shake.

Alain Prost

Pit crew fix a tire swing

The word gets out trains are using F1 technology to improve reliability.

'It's rumoured that he's becoming an alcoholic.'

A Racecar Winner at Breakfast

Jacques Villeneuve: I'm a lousy driver, but she loves me anyway.

Advertising space on a racing car.

Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

Racing road signs

'No, the sound isn't turned off, it's a Formula One race.'

'They must practice their pit stops for hours to get it as badly wrong as that.'

'Hello Bob, how was the Grand Prix at Silverstone..?'

If Bernie Ecclestone does not get his pound of flesh from Montreal, the Canadian Grand Prix will not roll.

Formula One snail

'It's not fair...Schumacher gets to practice a lap of honour before the race has even begun.'

Engine blown - Swear box.