Format Collector Gifts

Robert P. (All Three Formats)

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Before the Internet

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Jazz is Invented

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

Six jazz instruments.

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

"I'm away from my desk right now..."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

The Month of July

The other digital divide.

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"Don't put that on. You're wearing this shirt today."

'I think you'll find this just as much fun as 'Grand Theft Auto IV''

"I wonder what this was for."

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"Please feel free to browse."

Funky Facts: Elephants.

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

First and last day as census taker...