Formal Dinner Aficionados T-Shirts

"No, mine has a gold band with diamonds, fleurs-de-lis, and four arches topped by a jewelled cross."

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"Expense account or regular?"

Wine taster with mineral water

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

'Look, I'll be brief. I love you, let's eat and hit the sack.'

Champagne Charlie.

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

'I knew we should have brought your Marigolds, dear!'

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

"Put on a tie. We've been invited to the castle."

'Like it? It's my digital vest, it calculates calories, portions and price per pound!'

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

'I'll never forget the first time we met...when that gardener cut you in half with his spade.'

'A table for two?'

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

'OK, who ordered the prawn cocktail?'

'Waiter. Tonight, we're pulling out all the stops! Get her the steak special and I'll have the pork chops.'

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

'I'll take the rest of this in a doggy bag.'

A Revolution In Formal Wear! The Cummertie in Four Classic Styles!

'Congratulations, dear...the squid appears fresh!'

"If I were a car, you could find the words."

"Will the gentleman want the saumon poché with or without his initials?"

'I love our decadence!'

The Last Dinner

'How can you hate something you've never tried?!'