Forgiveness Receiver Gifts

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

"She can forgive Nixon, but she can't forgive me."

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"I've been trying to apply that 'forgive and forget' principle..."

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

"When I said I wanted a pet, I meant a dog."

The Ekert Saga: 'Are you nuts?! If someone locked me in a shed, I'd be furious and want to get revenge!!... Then again, getting angry doesn't make things any better...'

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

'You forgave her for that last week. When you forgive and forget you're not allowed to forget you forgave.'

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

'So you're saying that if I truly repent all my sins will be deleted?'

"She's forgiven me."

Vampire picking up his blood delivery (Type O, Type A, and Type B).

'Thank you for all your help. You're like a good photocopy machine. You make a lasting impression.'

"Of course you're angry at me for springing a surprise memory quiz on you, but you've got to learn to forgive and forget."

So... you got a big ass bonus... Now what?

'Admit it - you've been worried since you were flashed by that speed camera...'

'It was March, 1842. I said, ‘Walter, you can't stay mad FOREVER!''

Turned the other cheek