Forgiveness Seeker Gifts

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

'So you're saying that if I truly repent all my sins will be deleted?'

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"Of course you're angry at me for springing a surprise memory quiz on you, but you've got to learn to forgive and forget."

Man who has had his hat ruined by boys showing their lenient mother.

'I knew you'd come crawling back.'

The Ekert Saga: 'Are you nuts?! If someone locked me in a shed, I'd be furious and want to get revenge!!... Then again, getting angry doesn't make things any better...'

'You know Yom Kippur is a time for understanding and forgiveness.'

'But first, let me confess to you . . .'

"The unprovoked attack when you were younger? You have to forgive yourself for that."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

"She can forgive Nixon, but she can't forgive me."

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

'Get an afterlife!'

"Lately, I've become more spiritual, and less religious."

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

"Nature can be cruel, but occasionally there are instances of great compassion."

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

"I've been trying to apply that 'forgive and forget' principle..."

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

The Good Samaritan.