Forgiveness Guru Gifts

'You forgave her for that last week. When you forgive and forget you're not allowed to forget you forgave.'

Holding a grudge.

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Thank you bubbles

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

"Tia Carmen, if times are tough, how come you're giving money away?"

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

"She can forgive Nixon, but she can't forgive me."

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

"By the way… If no one has mentioned this before, we think you're swell."

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

'Can't you stop being charitable, we are on vacation.'

"I've been trying to apply that 'forgive and forget' principle..."

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"Lately, I've begun to understand - and forgive - my parents."

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

Give Thanks.

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

Charity mugger

Every Day is a Gift