
"Okay, the mice can be blind, but if we introduce a carving knife, we'll have to use it in the third stanza."
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"Okay, the mice can be blind, but if we introduce a carving knife, we'll have to use it in the third stanza."
The fate of the emigrant
In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.
Standard endings for sci-fi movies...
"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."
Totalitarian Humour
"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"
"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"
Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'
"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."
'In the future, that should produce thousands of PhD theses.'
"This gives me the inner fulfillment I could never achieve through dodgeball."
"Man, how to you guys get that great new flying saucer smell in here?!'
"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."
"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."
Minion, I'm ordering you not to talk about alternate histories with the customers. No more "what if feudalism never happened" nonsense. If people start thinking things could've been different, they'll soon start thinking things could've been better. Which could lead to them thinking things can still get better. This "gap between rich and poor" thing is working out in my favor. I don't want your talk of alternate pasts to accidentally create any alternate futures. Very bad man.
"Someday our robots will have all our anxieties for us."
'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'
'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'
"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."
"It's a time machine. I came to show it to you next week but you were busy."
'What worries me is what is going to replace automation.'
'One day, after they unfreeze my DNA, this will all be mine again.'
"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."
'Waiter, there's going to be a fly in my soup!'
Poll: The World Will End With: Nuclear War, Global Warming, Assault Weapons.
"Papi! Papi! I figured it out! I know exactly what I'm gonna be when I grow up!"
A Dummy Corporation.
Wheel
The passage of time.
'Don't get your hopes up...the future isn't what it used to be!'
I heard you're going to Mars to star on some reality show. Yep. Mars One. We launch ten years from now. Ten years? You don't have the attention span to wait ten minutes. In ten years, you'll have forgotten all about this. And when that day comes, I will mock and berate you mercilessly. You'll be dead in ten years. Ridiculing you gives me a reason to go on! Being around you gives me a reason to go to Mars.
'This time last year you told me that I would meet a tall handsome stranger. Now I need his name and address.'
"Ever since he saw the new budget he's been obsessing over the numbers."
Psychic: Palm reading, tarot, and lost and found.
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