For Kids Gifts

'I'm thinking something a little more modest... say, whatever 1,000 slaves can do in 50 years.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Just be yourself."

I like the Jets...I guess

Wildlife

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

Santa Claus's Mail

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

No caption (A young bald eagle plays a claw game full of fish as his parent stands behind him).

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"We're playing doctor. Do you have any old magazines for our waiting room?"

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

"And this is our media room."

"Hi-yah!"

'Tastes like cherry kool-aid, what's it do?'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"Look, a bug!"

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

'I'll give you a clue. The answer is a number, not a fruit.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

"That'll be five bucks."

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

SALE

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"