Footprint Detectives Gifts

"How the hell does he do that?"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

The interested bystanders.

Evolution.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Bigfoot tracks...

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"What about my footprint?"

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Frank, I think it's about time you bought another pair of boots.'

"Remember when, on the Internet, nobody knew who you were?"

"Our system's been cracked. How is that even possible?"

Fine Print Letters

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

"Honey, check it out — giant porcupine tracks."

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

"I did a quick search for my lost requirements documents and I found them right away, but how do I get rid of the ads now?"

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"The fine print, in the contract, can be read only if held up to a mirror."

Shipping contract.

ACME INSURANCE COMPANY, 'Of course, the death benefits don't apply if it's the Government that kills you.'

"How's this? 'Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes of parallel universes yet to be discovered...'"

'I'm sorry, sir, but you can't use your frequent-flier miles because one of our blackout dates,,,'

"This house must be very kid friendly. It has handprints wallpaper..."

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."

Careful - Ginger left the sniffing app open, and it shared her scent with everyone.

I didn't know there were so many gardeners. They aren't gardeners. Flower Show. He is. She isn't. She is. How can you tell? Look at their feet!

'So I looked at your Facebook page...oh man...there's no way you're getting this job!'

'There's really no need for confusion with this Medicare stuff. Page 95, section 33, paragraph L in the instructions quite clearly says ... '

Contract Mouse Trap

"You may read the small print Mr Hill, but you obviously didn't read the microscopic print!"