Football World Cup Gifts

-Why are you sending us off? -For fighting about who won the toss!

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Bowled over again!

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Church for sports worshipers.

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Another football scholarship offer?'

Punt Cake

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

The trauma of losing.

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

The Brothers Grime

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

'Now that's the Group of Death.'