Football-loving Sons Pillows

I'd like to take my two sons to a football match.

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Puppies

Soccer kids texting

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

Boy on father's knee

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

A chip off the old block...

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

Elephant rides.

Two boys eating ice cream

"Ben, forget... what... I'd said about... plastics!"

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

Water Slide

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

'Mom... Dad... I'm a bottom feeder!'

'Let daddy know if you get a bite.'

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

Baby Footballer

"Oh my sons, I'm so proud of you, both labelled ugly ducklings: Look at how handsome you are now..."

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"

'I'm all the athletic support my son will ever need!'