Sons Pillows

'If I don't do my homework I'll get bad grades- I'll never get a job and won't be able to pay for your long term care. You do the maths.'

"When I was your age, I was an adult."

"When I was your age, things were exactly the way they are now."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

The last family vacation

Well I don't know if the fish oils have helped his concentration, but they've certainly kept the fly population down.

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"

"Why don't you guys go out and play catch?"

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

St Luke's Calling: 'Luuuuke, I am your father...'

"We don't want you inviting friends over to play. There are liability issues."

'What amazes me is that Dad actually buys fertilizer!'

'Do you have to be so bloody wonderful? I'd like something to kick against.'

'Mom... Dad... I'm a bottom feeder!'

A chip off the old block...

'He processed the words all by himself!'

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

"-and to think THAT was once our little bundle of joy!"

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

'What makes you think you were an accident, son?'

Explains the unreturned phone calls.

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Ninja Mom: 'Boys if you cant say something with a sword, don't say anything.'

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

Footballer with MUM tattoo on Mothers Day.

Modern nagging

'Santa forgot the bloody batteries!'

"Oh my sons, I'm so proud of you, both labelled ugly ducklings: Look at how handsome you are now..."

Dad is yelling at you.

"Don't feel bad, son. The people are only screaming because they're such big fans."

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'