Sons Gifts

'If I don't do my homework I'll get bad grades- I'll never get a job and won't be able to pay for your long term care. You do the maths.'

"When I was your age, I was an adult."

"When I was your age, things were exactly the way they are now."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

Well I don't know if the fish oils have helped his concentration, but they've certainly kept the fly population down.

The last family vacation

"Why don't you guys go out and play catch?"

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

Naughty kids watching TV and telling their slack dad to go back to his kennel.

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

'Do you have to be so bloody wonderful? I'd like something to kick against.'

'He processed the words all by himself!'

A chip off the old block...

"-and to think THAT was once our little bundle of joy!"

'Mom... Dad... I'm a bottom feeder!'

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

'What amazes me is that Dad actually buys fertilizer!'

"We don't want you inviting friends over to play. There are liability issues."

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

"Don't feel bad, son. The people are only screaming because they're such big fans."

Dad is yelling at you.

"Oh my sons, I'm so proud of you, both labelled ugly ducklings: Look at how handsome you are now..."

'Santa forgot the bloody batteries!'

Modern nagging

Footballer with MUM tattoo on Mothers Day.

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

Ninja Mom: 'Boys if you cant say something with a sword, don't say anything.'

"So...how do you like our quality father-son time?"

"It's his first arrest."

Water Slide

"Look, son, Pop-Pop and Nana are heading south for the winter."

"I really should call my mother — I just don’t want to talk to her."