Father-son Gifts

"Let's face it, Dad. If you really thought I was my own man, you'd give me a raise in my allowance."

Take-Your-Child-To-Work-Day

'Son, someday you're going to be short all of this.'

"You see, love is a wonderful thing. You share with someone you truly care about. As you become a man, these feelings and desires will only grow."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"Young Frankenstein"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Robot Parts $5

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Killer Executive Suits.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Prize vegetables.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'I have this fear of the real world...'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

The Busy Gardener

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Remote control pirate bully

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."