Father-son T-Shirts

"Let's face it, Dad. If you really thought I was my own man, you'd give me a raise in my allowance."

Take-Your-Child-To-Work-Day

'Son, someday you're going to be short all of this.'

"You see, love is a wonderful thing. You share with someone you truly care about. As you become a man, these feelings and desires will only grow."

"Don't interrupt your father when he's on the bong."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"Young Frankenstein"

Robot Parts $5

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Prize vegetables.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Killer Executive Suits.

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Louis Armstrong

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

The Busy Gardener