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"Some people look like their pets as they age. My father looks like his bowling ball."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

Baby has used blocks to spell out 'SO VERY BORED'.

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"It's difficult to attract a younger customer when our main demographic is babies."

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

"When Ed suggested 5 potato, 6 potato, 7 potato more, I suggested a vasectomy."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

Skateboard

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

'Daddy yells, 'I GOT IT I GOT IT' You should have seen how high the ball bounced off Daddy's head'

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'Genius! Art class and snack time!'

Daddy's Hook

"I was raised in New York and Nancy is from L.A., but we're bringing up the children bicoastal."

Parental Training Course

'He's doing it again.'

'My sales training was right. The person in the highest chair is dominant.'

'Well, we always said as long as he's got ten fingers and ten toes . . .'