Football-loving Sons Gifts

I'd like to take my two sons to a football match.

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

'I love doing things with you, Dad but couldn't you just coach my soccer team?'

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

Busking, "Stop worrying your father for money."

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

Puppies

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

Soccer kids texting

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Boy on father's knee

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

A chip off the old block...

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"Ben, forget... what... I'd said about... plastics!"

'He's not my Daddy: He's my great great grandfather...'

Elephant rides.

Two boys eating ice cream

Water Slide

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

Children should be seen and not heard. We're decorative.

'Mom... Dad... I'm a bottom feeder!'

'Let daddy know if you get a bite.'

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

Baby Footballer

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'

"Oh my sons, I'm so proud of you, both labelled ugly ducklings: Look at how handsome you are now..."

"Don't take it personally, Dad, but if I need advice, I'll ask my phone...it's a lot smarter than you are!"