Football Funsters Pillows

"This is great, Mavis! Let's have another go!"

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

Climbing with the baby

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

The Horse Jump - One girl makes it over, the other is cover in leaves.

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

Football Bomb

Leopards do change their spots

Football

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

'If Aunt Arctica is on the bottom of the world, does that mean Uncle Artica is on top of the world?'

Woman with blouse zipped up to varying degrees. Arrows read, 'single,' 'married, 'happily married.'

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

Outlaw Quilting Bees

'When I found iout you are what you eat, well, I'm nuts!'

"I'm the mommy and he's the daddy and Teddy is the #@&&!# kid who keeps us from having time to do anything!"

"Oh, he's cute, all right, but he's got the temperament of a car alarm."

'The manager tol us not to let the other side see the ball and that's what I'm doing!'

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

'They only keep him in the team because of his famous WAG!'

"Your Fitbit isn't working?"

"Thank you and feel free to download the appropriate holiday greeting from my website."

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

"You know I hate you, right?"

'Well, thanks for getting me involved. Now I have to stand in the 'naughty corner', too!'

"Straw, sticks and bricks are in aisle seventeen. Wolf repellent is in aisle four."