Football Farce Finder Pillows

"Football? What makes you think it's a magazine about football?"

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Football

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

Football Bomb

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

"..common sense has prevailed, Michael Owen's agent has let the referee off with just a severe warning."

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'The manager tol us not to let the other side see the ball and that's what I'm doing!'

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'The bite was great but you forgot to clutch your face and fall to the ground waving an imaginary card...'

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

Nobody has been on the this team longer, without actually playing in a game than you guys. We're setting a benchmark!

After review, the replay confirms a touchdown, and also that big, jiggly bellies look hilarious in slow motion.

Brazil vs Germany

'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'

'Football school pranks'

'Nesbitt will do all our Monday morning quarterbacking.'

"We've made some adjustments for social distancing."

Superdome: Now Playing Har Bowl.

'Foot balling phillistines, how soon they forget.'

...and the mighty sport of Kung Football was born.

'Spit him out, Vince! This is just practice. Save the rough stuff for the game.'

'This is depressing, the Pro Bowl had more hits than my website.'

'When you've got a minute, give this a bowl of milk.'

'Coach is in a meeting. He's going over patterns with his receivers.'

'Oh, OK then...I won't send you off.'

'You know nothing about football either? So we've both spent TWO HOURS bluffing?'

In spite of all the scientific theories, the true origins of Stonehenge are much simpler.