Football Farce Finder T-Shirts

"Football? What makes you think it's a magazine about football?"

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

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Football Bomb

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

"Hey! I know that handwriting, St Valentines day last year!!!"

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

'The manager tol us not to let the other side see the ball and that's what I'm doing!'

'Whoa! Don't try to be a hero. It's too late for Dan, but let this be a lesson...'

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

The defence were confident about their offside trap.

'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'

'Football school pranks'

'Nesbitt will do all our Monday morning quarterbacking.'

'Spit him out, Vince! This is just practice. Save the rough stuff for the game.'

"We've made some adjustments for social distancing."

Superdome: Now Playing Har Bowl.

'Foot balling phillistines, how soon they forget.'

'Oh, OK then...I won't send you off.'

'Coach is in a meeting. He's going over patterns with his receivers.'

'You know nothing about football either? So we've both spent TWO HOURS bluffing?'

In spite of all the scientific theories, the true origins of Stonehenge are much simpler.

'When you give the annual report, sir, can you slip in a bit of faux honesty?'