Foot Health Gifts

"In my day, I've had men at my feet!"

Podiatrist. The shoe repairman wants a callus removed. Ah, a corn on the cobbler!

Fallen Arches

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'My feet are killing me.'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

What the Doctor Ordered

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol