Foosball Fanatic Pillows

'Apparently it has anti-cheating software installed.'

"You can always tell which guys aren't trapped in long-term contracts."

L.A.: Still No Pro Football

"There's always a prima donna."

I like the Jets...I guess

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Bowled over again!

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Go team!

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

If nobody had invented graphics

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Raheem Sterling

Football

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

350 Feet.

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"