Foosball Fanatic Pillows

'Apparently it has anti-cheating software installed.'

"You can always tell which guys aren't trapped in long-term contracts."

"There's always a prima donna."

I like the Jets...I guess

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Go team!

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Football

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

Cricket Accidents.

Ball as water-melon.